Ask KnightHawk — Mean People
I’ve been seeing this energy a lot around me and other people in my life, so I hope this question might help many people, not just myself: “What is the best course of action when I see people doing mean things?”
A Nice Person
Dear Nice Person,
Thank you for this great question.
Here are the cards I dealt for your reading:
Card 1 (Major Arcana Card for Spiritual advice) – The Sun card
Card 2 (Court Card for a trait to develop or emphasize) – Queen of Cups
Card 3 (PIP card for a suggested action) – Six of Cups
A quick look at the cards here yields an obvious initial message: All of the cards here counsel strongly against responding to meanness with more of the same. Also, it is significant that the two cards of “worldly” advice (the Minor Arcana) are Cups, i.e., water cards. This calls to mind a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. When asked why he believed violence and hatred could be overcome with nonviolence, he said, “Because you can’t fight fire with fire. You have to fight fire with water.”
Now on to the specific cards in this reading …
First, the Sun card. I see optimism in this card, an indication of trying to see the best in people in order to give them something to live up to. It also urges you to stay positive yourself and not to let yourself get dragged down to the darkness. In my Tarot of the Masters deck, we see Apollo, who, besides being the Sun God, was also associated with a person’s “inner light.” So another implication of this card is that when you are confronted with the darkness of someone doing something mean, stay in touch with your own inner light, which is the only way you can dispel shadows. Or to use another quote from MLK, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
This card also suggests “a new dawn,” and a specific application of that implication is to allow your relationships (even those with people who does mean things) to start fresh and with a clean slate every day. By letting go of the emotional baggage of yesterday, you allow today to shine with forgiveness and new opportunities.
The next card is the court card that is most indicative of compassion. In addition, the dove in my ToM version of the Queen of Cups is a symbol of gentleness and peacefulness. So this queen urges you to deal with mean people with a compassionate heart. When someone is mean, it is a sign of their own emotional pain and suffering, and it is your compassion that can heal them, not your anger or judgment. This truly is the only way to change their behavior. Fighting with mean people only feeds their anger and pain, which makes them meaner. In short, then, this card urges you to manifest your own internal Queen of Cups and be more gentle, peaceful, and compassionate with mean people.
The Six of Cups suggests a couple of things you can do. One is to try to find common ground with the person who is being mean. Perhaps spend time with them (when they aren’t being mean) to get to know them better; you can better understand where this person is coming from when you know them better. Or try to empathize with this person; try to understand how their feelings about something—their own fears and feelings of being wronged—is making them act badly. Another thing that you might do is make a peace-offering with this person. Doing that doesn’t mean you’re saying, “What you did was okay;” it says that you are willing to build a bridge. It’s amazing how something as simple as a small act of kindness can disarm a mean person. Finally, since the 6s of the Tarot are about reciprocity, this card urges you to realize that we all do things now and then that seem mean to someone else, and realizing that, you may be able to find empathy for a mean person. And empathy is a necessary beginning of healing.
Finally, here are a couple of affirmations from my book, Tarot Affirmations, that can help you deal with mean people.
The first one is based on the Queen of Cups:
I intuitively understand and empathize with other people.
The second one works well with the Six of Cups:
I let love flow through me and lead me to happiness.
I hope this helps you deal with whatever difficult people there are in your life.
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