Ask KnightHawk — Love and Anxiety
I’ve been divorced since April 2010 and have been meeting a lot of people, but I have mental health problems with anxiety and I have difficulty letting anyone into my life. What do I need to do to find true love?
Anxious about Love
Thank you for your reading request. I’m sorry to hear about your problems, and I hope this reading helps you deal with them. However, please understand that I am not a psychiatrist and my reading should not be interpreted as providing therapy with regards to your anxiety issues. Please see a mental health professional if that seems appropriate for you at this time.
Here are the cards I dealt for you:
Card 1 (Major Arcana Card for Spiritual advice) – Death
Card 2 (Court Card for traits to develop or emphasize) – Knight of Swords
Card 3 (PIP card for suggested action) – Nine of Coins
Looking at these three cards as a story, I can see a general message here. It looks like you’re digging yourself into a hole of anxiety and depression by concentrating your attention on the loss of your marriage. Instead, redirect the focus of your attention toward improving yourself and what you are doing with your life (or need to be doing with it). For example, do you want to improve your home environment? Do you need to address health issues? Focus on that sort of thing for now. And this is not just about taking care of these things; it’s also about focusing your attention on them with confidence that they will get better.
It is commonly understood that we must mourn the death of a loved one, but we often fail to realize that with any loss, some period of mourning and coming to terms is a necessary step in our healing process. You have been divorced for only about half a year, which may not be enough time to deal with this loss. So one thing this card says is, “Give it time.”
This card is also about letting go and moving on with your life. You seem to be focusing too much on the painful circumstances surrounding the loss of your marriage. For now, just have faith that out of the depths of every Winter, a new Spring will eventually arise. I know that this may require a great deal of faith in the Divine since this period can seem like a horrible abyss until you emerge from it. But let that faith help you bury the past, because until you do, you won’t be able to let a new relationship into your life.
Knight of Swords:
First, what I see in this card is that obsessive thoughts (particularly those about the perceived pain and injustice of past relationships) are carrying you away. Those thoughts are controlling you, but it should be the other way around. You should be controlling your thoughts. Direct them toward creating a comfortable and enjoyable life for yourself. (This suggestion comes from both the Knight of Swords’ contra-positive card, which is the Queen of Pentacles, and the next card in this reading, the Nine of Coins.)
Whenever you start thinking about relationship problems, gently redirect your thoughts toward something positive, such as something you enjoy at home or some wonderful plan you may have about improving your home.
Nine of Coins:
The Nine of Coins suggests that you get a hobby. Do something that you enjoy, which will take your mind off of your worries and your problems. Now is not the time to work on (or worry about) a new relationship. Instead, you need to tend to the practical aspects of your life for now, such as those involving your health, financial situation, or material wellbeing. But remember to focus on the positive aspects of those as much as you can.
To help you in this situation, I would like to leave you with the following affirmations, which are primarily adapted from my book, Tarot Affirmations. (You can read more about using affirmations with Tarot cards in a prior blog post.) Feel free, of course, to pick and choose among them and to adjust them to suit yourself.
The first affirmation is based on the Death card:
I let go of things that no longer benefit me in order to allow better things to come into my life.
The next one works well with the Knight of Swords:
I focus my attention on the positive aspects of my life.
The last two affirmations will bring the benefits of the Nine of Coins into your life:
I enjoy the life I am creating for myself.
I deserve success and prosperity.
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Disclaimer: A Tarot reading is not a substitute for medical, psychological, financial, or legal counseling. For such advice, please consult a qualified professional. The information provided in a Tarot reading is not legally binding and the Tarot reader assumes no legal liability for any damages, losses, or other consequences of any client decisions or actions, subsequent to, or based on, this service.