The Lovers — Spiritual Message of the Day
“We become dependent on other people to make us feel totally and permanently loved. This expectation … will always be defeated. … The cause [of our relationship problems] is an inability to develop an unshakable relationship with ourselves. The Higher Self is the source of love.” — Deepak Chopra (A Path to Love)
Although it may be a stereotype that the most common question asked of a Tarot reader is “When will I meet my soul mate,” there is reason for that stereotype since this (and variations on it) is a rather frequent question. When it is asked, the Lovers is a very welcome card in the reading because to the uninitiated eye, it seems to be a simple promise of a new lover coming into the picture. Of course (as is the case with all the Tarot cards) the Lovers card is much more complex than that.
One bit of advice that it offers is that the best way to find a wonderful relationship with someone else is by first developing a positive relationship with yourself. In other words, seek to love and accept who you are. In fact, when you are able to love yourself and to love how you are living your life (which comes from discovering and pursuing your deep, soul-inspired passions), you will begin to see love all around you. And when you cultivate love in your heart, your external relationships will become more aligned with the greater good and higher purpose of everyone involved.
An important aspect of this card to consider here is its inclusion of a divine figure hovering above the people on it. In antique decks, this was usually Eros, the God of Love, while in decks of the last century, we generally see an archangel. (In the RWS deck, this angel is generally regarded to be Raphael, the angel of healing.) The message we may infer from this is that before searching for a fulfilling external relationship, we should first recognize and develop our inner relationship with the Divine. Then with this sacred foundation in our hearts, the people who are right for us will appear in our lives, and we will be able to recognize and appreciate them when they do. That last point is of vital importance. The problem for many of us is not that the right person doesn’t come along. It is that when they do, we don’t realize that they are the right person since we’re evaluating potential partners with materialistic or self-indulgent criteria. With a higher spiritual connection, however, we remove such blinders and see more clearly.
Finally, this card says that when we do find a satisfying relationship, it is crucial that we realize that it is not the source of love in our lives; it is a means for us to practice and express our ability to love. (See the quote from Deepak Chopra at the beginning of this section.) With that practice, two people may use their relationship as a vehicle for spiritual awakening.