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Conversational Tarot — the Death card

February 10, 2015

Death -- Tarot of the MastersLast year, I described a way to initiate thought-provoking conversations using the messages of the cards. (A great way to facilitate this process is to use my Pithy Tarot app, which provides a card reading along with a quick little meaning for the card.) Today I used the Death card for this.

There is a wealth of anecdotal evidence that when we die we are greeted by loved ones who have already passed over. Whether we believe that or not, this suggests an interesting question to discuss:

Who would you would like to have there to greet you in the afterlife and why?

Here are some of my own answers (in no particular order):

My grandmother. My maternal grandmother was my favorite grandparent, and I was her favorite grandchild.  She was a feisty old lady, and most of my family thought her strange, but I found her to be fun and interesting.  Also, to this day, the smell Dove soap brings back a fond memory of her washing my hands when I was a child, which is the earliest sense memory I have.

My father. Although I had a conflicted relationship with my father when I was a child, we developed a good friendship in my adulthood. Cancer took him over a decade ago, and the night he died, I distinctly felt his presence and his request to help my mother, who he regretted leaving.

My brother. One of my brothers was in a fatal traffic accident when he was twenty years old and I was sixteen. It had only been in the last few months of his life (after he had moved out on his own) that we had developed a close friendship. Perhaps prior to that, close proximity had provoked sibling rivalry between us. I’ve always wondered how that friendship would have evolved and how it would have affected my life if fate had not dealt such a cruel blow.

A high school friend. One of my best friends from high school moved to Australia a few years after graduation and we lost touch. Over a decade later, though, I got a phone call from him. He told me that he was gay but had gotten involved in an ex-gay movement that made him cut ties with any friends who were gay. After many painful years, he finally realized that the whole “ex-gay” thing didn’t work for him, and so he was calling to ask if I would forgive him for shutting me out (which of course I did) and if we could be friends again. We had a very active mail correspondence (this was pre-Internet/email) for about a year, but then an accident took him suddenly too.

I’ve never had a deep need to speak to the dead that would impel me to seek the services of a medium, but there are people who have died (some much too soon) that I would hope will be there to greet me when my time comes. Those are a few of them.  While we’re at it, though, if pets can be there too, I would like to see the dog I had when I was a teenager and my first cat, who was the sweetest cat I’ve ever known.

If any of you would like to join in this discussion, I would love to hear your thoughts on this too.

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  1. Before I’d even processed the whole sentence I thought “My mother”. We have unfinished business and I can’t see me wandering happily off into whatever constitutes the afterlife until I’ve sorted some things out. Besides, despite having a typically volatile mother-daughter relationship, she’s still my Mum – who else would I want to take my hand and show me around?

    • From everything I’ve ever heard, I’m sure she’ll be there. And what’s more, I’m sure you will find that in that meeting in the Light, your relationship with her will be whole again. In the meantime, I would just offer this advice: know that she did her best with what she had (whether it seems so or not) and let that be the foundation for forgiveness in your heart. That’s where you can find healing and peace in the Here and Now.

      • Thank you, James. We both did the best we could, but truth is, it’s me that needs forgiveness. From everything I’ve ever heard 😉 I’m guessing I have been but I’d like to hear it from her.

        • Yes, I’m sure you have been now that she is in the Light. But here’s a suggestion anyway:
          Find some quiet time and, in a meditative state, imagine a conversation with your mother. You can ask for her forgiveness there.
          I’ve helped people through this in face-to-face readings … You’ll be surprised how wonderful and effective it can be. (As Dumbledore said, “Harry, just because it’s in your head doesn’t mean it’s not real.”) And now that I think about it, perhaps I should post the expanded process on my blog sometime.

  2. How can I resist a Dumbledore quote? Thank you. 🙂

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