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Tarot and Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2016

The Lovers Tarot eCards RWS2.0Valentine’s Day is here again, so I thought it would be nice to talk about Love, Tarot, and Valentine’s Day — even for all of you who are not happy to see Valentine’s Day come around again.

It is a truism that the most common issue that people ask about when they come for a Tarot reading is relationships.  Sometimes they want to know how to fix an existing relationship, and if that is an issue for you or for someone you might be doing a reading for, there are a few spreads you can use to do readings that will show you how to solve relationship problems. You can find a couple of them here and another one here. You can also find out more about relationship spreads in my book “Tarot Spreads — Get the Whole Story.”

Unfortunately, the relationship issue that people more often bring to a Tarot reading is how to find one.  Or, more precisely, they want to know when one will turn up.  Thus, to the consternation of many a good Tarot reader, they may ask, “When will I find my soul mate?”  Luckily, they often use that term as a generic way to refer to a person with whom they will have a great relationship. However, sometimes they are convinced that there is one perfect person out there for them. If only they could find that person! That’s when things get sticky for me, because I don’t believe that there is just one person out there for any of us; love and relationships are more complex than that.  So first let’s look at what a Tarot card might have to say about that term, “Soul Mates?”  The following is adapted from a blog post I wrote about the Knight of Cups a few years ago:

The Knight of Cups is a card strongly associated with romance, perhaps with a touch of longing or idealism to it, as in the famous phrase, “Someday my Prince will come.”  Consequently it reminds me of a common question for a Tarot reading: “When will I meet my soul mate?” However, I’ve always thought that a better question in such circumstances is something like this: “What can I do to be better ready for a positive, loving relationship?” and sometimes the Knight of Cups answers: “When the person is ready, the soul mate will appear.”

Unfortunately, I’ve found that many people don’t want to hear that. They don’t want to admit that they are not ready for the kind of positive relationship that their soul wants them to have, and they don’t want to bear the responsibility of doing the work necessary to improve themselves in order to get there. Here’s the good news: although the difficult truth is that this is what’s necessary, the wonderful truth is that once you’ve done that work, the Universe will conspire to bring you the love that you need and deserve.

This brings me back to Valentine’s Day, because although it is a joyous occasion for people who are in a loving relationship, it is also a difficult day for those who are not. In fact, for many single people (not all, of course), this is a particularly sad time of year since, in its celebration of intimate relationships, Valentine’s Day emphasizes something that they want but don’t have.  In other words, “Thanks for rubbing it in!”

So how can the Tarot help with that? As noted above, the Knight of Cups says that “When the person is ready, the soul mate will appear,” and similarly, in another blog post about that card, I noted that the Knight of Cups says, “When you are spiritually ready, your soul mate will appear.”  Of course, this begs the question of how do you become spiritually ready?  Being ready often means that you are able to love yourself, because otherwise, you are probably approaching relationships from a place of lack, need, and desperation. Those are not attractive qualities.  Some of the cards (such as the Lovers card and the Queen of Cups) talk about that need for self love. First, here is an excerpt from the section on the Lovers card in my book “The Soul’s Journey”:

The best way to find a wonderful relationship with someone else is by first developing a positive relationship with yourself.  In other words, seek to love and accept who you are.  In fact, when you are able to love yourself and to love how you are living your life, you will begin to see love all around you.  And when you cultivate love in your heart, your external relationships will become more aligned with the greater good and higher purpose of everyone involved.

And here is an excerpt from the section in that book about the Queen of Cups:

Learning to love unconditionally begins with learning to love yourself, and to do that, first learn to forgive yourself.  Don’t judge yourself so much.  Of course you should evaluate your beliefs and actions and then correct or adjust them if they are causing problems, but you can correct your mistakes while also forgiving yourself for them. 

Judging ourselves is different from self-evaluation.  Judging includes things like getting mad at ourselves for the common human errors we make or criticizing things like our physical characteristics.  It is the harsh way we sometimes tell ourselves that we are bad or ugly or insufficient in some way.  Consequently, one way to love yourself more is to develop a positive self-image and a positive attitude about yourself.  For example, if you have an attribute that you don’t like, change it if you can, but learn to accept and love it if you can’t.

So here is the Tarot’s recommendation for you today if Valentine’s Day is sad for you: take the above advice to heart and commit to loving yourself more. Perhaps even give yourself a Valentine card.  It also might help to create and start using a positive affirmation about your love life. Here are a couple of examples of affirmations you might use:

“I love myself, and I am emotionally secure.
“A wonderful romantic relationship is coming into my life

You might want to associate the Ace of Cups with the first of those affirmations and the Two of Cups with the second. (See my book, Tarot Affirmations, for more about using Tarot cards and affirmations together.)

In any case, I hope you have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

valentine hearts 2

 

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